…another angry German in the beer hall.

This letter passed across my desk, speaking so strongly that, despite its barking manner it begged to be read. And because this is the people I vow to express this voice no matter how asinine,* with that said, I  present this an open letter from, Comrade Ogilvy.

Tall people, what is their use? Has nature made a more accursed creature? They wish to be recognized and admired for their stature but it is this very thing that sickens me Bahamas. You’ve seen them walking among us, as though they are equal to us, but if you look carefully you’ll notice that none of them can look the average Bahamian eye to eye.  For some time now we have been silent on the issue that is the source of all of our great nation’s ills, but my beloved Bahamians, silence will take us nowhere but further down the road of destruction. In the words of Edmund Burke, “all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Think for a moment how much capital is wasted on these giants, that could have gone towards the average Bahamian. How many yards of cloth was wasted to create their basket ball jerseys? How many animals were slaughtered to provide enough leather to cover their size 14 shoes? How many trees cut down in their prime to provide extra wood to prevent them from bucking their overextended heads against the doorways of the righteous?  Are our doorways not high enough for you to avoid thumping your nose against it? These giants perpetuate a culture of excess and indulgence; a life style of waste and greed.

Tall people are undermining our society, using our precious few resources. How it often aches my heart to see a good Bahamian child turn away from education or health care services simply because one of these tall wretches has taken the seat meant for our children.  I challenge you Bahamas, name one person over 6’2 who has ever done anything substantial or productive towards the well being of the country? You can’t, because it has never happened. It is not within their nature, we are beneath them. 

Oh what a proud and arrogant vestigial race that evolution has wrought.

Too many of our children have began to accept these monsters as their own, as though the difference of four inches is no more offensive than a gradation of skin color, but I will not have those liberal surfactants and universal suffragists deceive you my Bahamian brothers. So what if they were born here, grew up here, speak our language, worship in our churches, pledge allegiance to our flag… as long as there is an “us” and “them” there will never be true harmony.  They are an unnatural abomination that, as I have already stated, is  debauched with no hope of redemption, there is only one response that we can take as proud patriots of this fair Bahama land. 

Root these sky scrapping, bean pole, girl stealing, monstrosities up and out of our country, or send them to an appropriate hard labor camp where they can be re-educated and reformed from their beastly manner.

Open your eyes Bahamians before it’s too late. These giants are looking down on us.