One of the last interviews that Schin Nguyen gave before he was
sent to prison as a political prisoner by the oppressive German
Polynesian Regime, conducted by Sarah Betters, who was long considered
to be the favorite of Nguyen's three wives, but recent documents have surfaced questioning the validity of their marriage.
Schin Nguyen: Lol I think I've created this
constant mental image of you sleeping like a cat curled up on the bed
smiling (at first I thought it absurd to think people smile when they
sleep but...you do) I realized it flawed because cats are an
illiterate lot, I don't think I ever met a cat fond of a book, ever!
Also while you are really, really attractive and usually a girl's
evilness directly co-relates to their attractiveness, you aren't evil at
all...not like cats!
Sarah Betters: (Lol) ...and how often do you speak with cats, that you can make such searing accusations?
Schin Nguyen: All the time, they are a talkative
race but quite self involved. They don't want to talk about anything
except how nimble and clean they are...oh and tuna, they love to talk
about how they invented tuna, when in truth they only "commissioned"
tuna; it was the Japanese who invented tuna.
Sarah Betters: ...aren't cats from Egypt?
Schin Nguyen: Yes--yes cats are from Egypt...but
"tuna" is from Japan. The cats, after enslaving the Northern end of
the African continent, marched over to Asia and did the same...that's
why the Asian people look like that, (points to eyes) they're giving
their former cat over lords a wicked glare
Sarah Betters: I want to laugh but it seems racist...
Schin Nguyen: It is but that's okay because the cat race doesn't deserve the mercy of humanity
Sarah Betters: (pauses and gives Schin Nguyen a perplexed stare) What exactly did cats do to you?
Schin Nguyen: (takes a deep breathe then looks
deeply into Sarah's eyes) A cat killed my brother. When I was about 7
years old my father owned a small family styled diner that specialized
in Kosher Vietnamese/Jamaican dishes when Tabby 12...I don't know if
you're old enough to remember him?
Sarah Betters: Yes the super hero cat with his own line of designer ascots...I just look young and cute, were the same age! (Glares)
Schin Nguyen: (not repentant) ...well this "super
hero" comes to our resturant and my older brother was his waiter and he
hands the cat a menu the cat angrily throws the menu at him and
screams "I need a picture menu! Cats can't read". The angry cat storms
out.
Sarah Betters: So....how does that?
Schin Nguyen: A year later my brother died in his sleep from congenital heart failure....
Sarah Betters: I thought you were an only child?
Schin Nguyen: (pauses) Yes...well technically...you
know what! You don't see me holding your perfect cheek bones and
arresting smile against you!
Sarah Betters: (silence)
Schin Nguyen: Marry me?
Sarah Betters: (gets up with her bag) This interview is over sir!
A blog that oddly has very little to do with robots...
