I may be oversimplfying but...

things that are complicated

THE ECONOMY: for some reason even though the economy always sucks and perpetually is 10 seconds away from exploding into flames and destroying life and the world and life as we know it, the people that are in charge of the economy still look like they're doing pretty good for themselves. I mean don't get me wrong, obviously there is something wrong with the economy, because the rest of us are losing jobs and struggling to afford to purchase a pack of noodles, but obviously we just don't understand how the economy works because apparently you can say the countries broke and still have gold plated tissue paper. There for it complicated.




I had to take out a loan and enter 3 Asues to afford this one pack of Noodles bey!



PEOPLE WHO HATE FRANK OCEAN: don't get me wrong, I hate Frank Ocean, so i don't actually mean a perfect person like me. what i mean is people who swore by the man until July 4th 2012. I have a legitimate reason to hate Frank; he confused people with his lyrics and they misinterpreted his confusion waves as him being "deep" and "revolutionary" i on the other hand knew that he was just saying words in a rhythmic pattern and a soulful voice so i took issue to all the girls that were downloading his album and saying he understood their hearts (and although that is you essentially telling me that your heart is farrago assortment)--DAMN IT THAT WAS MY RACKET FRANK!!! 


this is perfect visual representation of Frank Ocean's music, you could try to make sense of it and "enjoy it" but no matter how hard you stare...its still just elephant dung splattered on to a canvas. That's right, if you like this picture you literally like crap.

Then July 4th and Frank Ocean says he's gay and now people who told me that "Frank is the truth" are saying that they hate him and will never listen to him again. That's odd, because you liked him when you thought he was a soft understanding male that wanted to sing you to sleep, basically a gay best friend...but now you don't want a gay best friend that's actually gay? I'm confused. Was it ever about the music (that i still hate) or did you secretly intend to get it on with Frank?

PICKING DESSERT: chocolate cake or cheesecake? this isn't fair. I don't say would you like oxygen or water do i, so why would they make you choose between the two most important parts of any well balanced diet? Why is it so complicated? Because you can always get chocolate cake, its easy to make, it comes in boxes, in vending machines, but for some reason you're in a restaurant and although you haven't had cheese cake since...well we just made cheesecake 2 weeks ago but that's not the point, despite the frequency that chocolate cake occurs in your life you can't just forsake it and just for the momentary pleasure of cheesecake...and you can't order both cus you think that i'm going to look at you weird. lol the funniest part is that no matter what i get you're going to probably reach over and "taste" it so you might as well order two desserts, but im oversimplifying it.

ANY LANGUAGE THAT'S NOT ENGLISH: come on, think about it, how hard is it to learn a new language, i don't know any bi-lingual people whose 1st language was English. That is actually the basis of my proof. We can't learn their language without a 3 year Berlitz course and even then we still can't read any French book above the Dr. Suess' classic Oeufs et Jambon Verts level. But on the other hand they learn English in the first 2 weeks of reaching any English speaking country. Now they're in the Starbucks ordering pizza. PIZZA!! Did you even know that Starbucks sold pizza?!! Of course you didn't, because they're complicated language prepared them for that level of discourse to convince a barista to make them a Margarita Pizza with truffle oil. They have these hard languages and they are actually stepping down to our neanderthal gibberish-- except German, cus German is literally English with a German accent.




maybe its not racist, they're just afraid of smart people (see that's racist), who can speak multiple languages and have the tolerance to live in the Prison Colony of Australia voluntarily. 





All of these are complicated things, what we have, "us"..."you+me" isn't not complicated at all Jenni. I like you, you like me, that's as straight forward as things will ever get

For Jenni's Eyes (Please Avert Your Eyes If Wrong Address)

So, you're interested in a taller gentleman

Firstly let me say CONGRATULATIONS, your interest in a taller gentleman is greatly appreciated. Most persons are apprehensive about dating or being seen with taller men as the assumption is that every man over 6'1 is a NBA player. This is the first line of prejudice that taller gentlemen have been struggling to overcome for the past 2 decades. Not every tall man is a basketball player, some are Abraham Lincoln others are ninjas.



Examples of Tall Men Professions


We're certain that you wish to know what all are the benefits of checking a taller gentleman, so here is a short list

• tall men are horrible at math, so we tend to hold your purse as you hold our wallets
• our tears taste like 80% Milk chocolate or apple pie, depending on the region, which means if you're into S&M, date night will probably end in dessert.
   

This Gentlemen is enjoying a new tall man flavor, "Strawberry Cheese Cake"

• tall men can't cheat…except at Scrabble because of our awkward height it is almost impossible to carry on a clandestine relationship without you finding out, come on Jenni you know that me and you have to sit in the back of the theatre because I kept blocking the projector, i think the folks at Galleria will tell you if I'm there with out you (they don't let me get buttered popcorn without your written permission)
• sturdy shoulders make us excellent for companions at concerts or flooded basements
• not to brag but you know what they say about tall men and making babies' socks? That's right, its not a wives tale, we tall men all have the ability to knit

So we're happy to heat about your interest and welcome you to come to our officers to full out and application form to officially date your particular favorite Tall Gentleman *coughStephencough*