3/8ths if you're wondering...where have i been

Good guys are losers,

Trust me.

I've never won a game of monopoly or scrabble, (but then that says more about my lack of 'stickability' and decaying moral fiber I suppose than fallacious proof that I'm a good guy...or a loser.)

You may question how can I be either of those things when I have fans. well how much are these fans, really fans?

Only half  of them know what I look like, and only half of that number know my real name and only half of that minuscule number aren't bots trying to sell me erectile dysfunction medicine. It is only depressing when you realize that the original number of fans, computer viruses included was 3,  (I'm not good at math, but I've been told that leaves me with more decimals than fans.)

Now even if I could somehow parle that 0.375 of a fan into a groupie, I'd still lose because when i make jokes about being the one eyed, four tentacled grandson of Sidney Poitier and a chicken the jokes are only funny as long as I am really not a one eyed, four tentacled grandson of Sidney Poitier and a chicken.

(By now you begin to realize it's not so much self deprecating humor as much as "why does a half chicken dude have tentacles" but I progress...only winners can digress)

Good guys are losers, you've watched professional American sports, only rapist and dog killers get fat head posters*.  This leaves me with some hope, because Bahamian women have particularly horrible taste in men, for example, they date Bahamian men, so...I'm still kinda, almost in the running, but that doesn't change my original point...which if I have not explicitly stated...

you should date me,

like for real










*this for some odd reason reminds me of the entrenched racism in the American version of the Power Rangers, the blatantness of Saban amazes me. The leader, is the Red Ranger, a red-blooded all-American boy, the blonde girly-girl is the Pink Ranger. The Yellow Ranger is Asian and the Black Ranger  was...black. Perhaps the most disturbing part is that the Green Ranger was an Irish Protestant dissenter. The reinforcement of stereotypes in American television is disturbing.