Tuesday 12:01 am
Schin Nguyen rises from his humble chateau in Lyford Cay where he goes into the early dew au naturel to offer a prayer for the souls of his enemies. Sky clad, he burns incense to the god Allan Molech for the slow and painful death of the Justin Bieber, Trey Songz, Drake and K Jae as well as any other smooth singing bastards that when played, distract girls from the awesomeness of Schin and focus them onto these Proactive faced crooners.
Tuesday 12:42 am
Schin Nguyen checks his Japanese stock portfolio and reconsiders trading so heavily in the "Walrus Pornography" market as recent complaints from animal rights activist as to whether the animals are enjoying it or are in the mood, or if they are simply doing it to pay their way through college and that it is wrong to objectify the Walrustic form simply for pleasure, have caused stock to plummet. Schin shakes his head. He's seen those Walruses, they know what they're into.
Tuesday 1:45 am
Schin Nguyen reviews the second draft of his letter to Bodine Johnson calling off their engagement. She's pretty, but his heart belongs to another... if only Sherice would return his calls. Schin comments that he is fully willing to change his last name to Major if that is what it takes and shows the stenographer his/her towels he already has monogrammed with "S.M." on it.
Tuesday 2:15 am
Schin Nguyen drunk dials Sherice, and laments for 45 minutes to her voice mail about her rejecting him, he promises he can change and that he'll do anything to be with her.
Tuesday 3:09 am
Schin Nguyen realizes that he has drunk dialed Bodine.
Tuesday 3:35 am
Drives to Bodine house with the hope of destroying her phone before she has a chance to check her voice mail, passes "On The Run" and realizes he has a hankering for some fried chicken. The fresh batch will be done in 10 minutes, Schin waits and to pass the time he kills a gang of Unicorns that are harassing a Wallaby.
Tuesday 4:20 am
Half way through his second 3 piece with wedges, Schin remembers why he left his house. Realizing he'll never make to Bodine's house in time to destroy her phone before her palates class at 5 am, he takes the second option afforded him. Pretending to be their Union President, Schin arranges for members of BTC to go on strike that morning, giving him enough time to hack into the data base and erase her voice mail.
Tuesday 4:45 am
Crisis averted, Schin stands outside of TAP's window watching her sleep, not in weird way, like a stalker or nothing, just because she crinkles her nose in the cutest manner when she is REM sleep. Schin gets a text, his ringtone is still '08 Shadowlaw, "You Just Got Specialed" The message is from Bahamas Local.com, they have rejected his application for a listing as a full service Live in Chef/Man-whore. Schin mutters a series of curse words in his native tongue of German Polynesian, this wakes TAP. Schin ducks behind the ficus.
Tuesday 5:07 am
While the embers glow with sweet satisfaction, and the smoke and haze give a beautiful glare in the light of the rising sun, Schin Nguyen realizes that the sign does not say BahamasLocal.com at all. Regretting never finishing grade 5, Schin quickly gets into his car before the police arrive.
Tuesday 5:08 am
Schin returns to the burning building to move the business card that he has left with a scathing 12 page letter rebuking them for their elitism. Where is Bee going to buy her shoes from now? Shakes head, he'll figure that out when he crosses that bridge, "the Bridge! Darn it the Bridge!" Schin remembers that one of his numerous alter egos is both Perry Christie and Hubert Ingraham and part of his plan is to sell the Bridge leading to Paradise Island to a fiscally irresponsible company with part of the agreement being that no creature using less than 3 legs or more than 5 or any number of legs equal to or greater than the sum of x when x is a variable congruent to y can use the bridge.
Tuesday 5:30 am
Schin receives a phone call from Bodine, breaking off their engagement, apparently she has received several calls from Sherice complaining about his 3 am calls. Schin has a nervous break down which causes a disruption in the time-space continuum resulting in him not only being the kid that took your money in High school, but also you Grand Father, Sammi Starr
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